Shruggin' off our Radiance
When someone compliments you are you able to really receive it? To take it in, to own it, to truly feel it? To not shrug it off.
“Oh, this old thing?”
“Oh, that work project? it was nothing.”
“Me, quick thinking? Pffft! I just had a good cup of coffee this morning.”
I've noticed that we women are great at giving but lousy at receiving. We see this often at our shoots. We are always in awe of our amazing ladies, for everything from the bravery needed to conquer a boudoir shoot to the beautiful, innately feminine features we all possess. (Yes, you too. Hear that. Accept it. You are innately beautiful.) We immediately give our ladies a huge pat on the back for showing up and often it is shrugged off or pushed aside. It's ok; we don't take it personally. We just wish that our ladies did. Take it personally! We mean it. You're amazing
I've been thinking a lot about the kinks in our receiving muscle. As a result, I have come up with some tips to help us overcome the blockage to receiving compliments. They are intended to help us not just passively receive them, but to energetically accept them. It might feel silly or strange or even selfish at first to begin practicing these tips. We get it. We suggest framing compliments as love, light and joy trying to come into your life. When viewed from that perspective, it feels even sillier to reject them. Let's choose to bask in the radiance rather than sit in the cold and dark.
Tip #1: Next time someone pays you a compliment, simply say “thank you” in reply.
Feeling extra ready to make a mental shift? Say “Thank you!” (Then mentally high five yourself and think, “It's totally true!”) We know that in the beginning accepting compliments for yourself might be difficult. To start flexing that receiving muscle, it might help you to frame it differently. We are such givers, putting others first, it would be more natural to think about the person paying you the compliment. They really mean it and really want you to hear it. Don't insult the giver by refuting it or batting it away. They think you deserve it and you do, 100%, so say “Thank you!”
Tip #2 Toot your horn!
Even if just quietly to yourself, as a fist bump at your reflection in the bathroom mirror, an entry into your journal, take a minute to give yourself some praise! Got that work project done on time? Balanced your checkbook? Sent the kids off to school with more than a go-yurt? Do your shoes and/or socks match today? Not today but they did yesterday? Hooray! You are totally winning. Time to brag.
Tip #3 Pay it forward
We here at Three Boudoir believe wholeheartedly in payin' it forward. We've got a channel in our slack group (our company's instant messaging application) just for complimenting each other and sharing rave reviews from the ladies that shoot with us. Paying it forward doesn't always mean paying for coffee for the person behind you in line at Starbucks, or other like-minded activities. There are many smaller things you can do every day that affect others. Think your co-worker's shoes are rad? Say so! Eat an amazing sandwich from the local deli? Leave 'em a rave Yelp review! We know we are talking about receiving here and this tip pertains to giving, but by making space for love, light and joy to come from you, you make it easier to recognize, receive and accept when it's coming to you.
Tip #4 Self-Care
Manicures, pedicures, massages, facials, a new *ahem* toy, a visit to the salon for a blow out, a luxurious bubble bath by candlelight, a good brunch or hangout with a close friend, etc. are all ways to self care! When you take the time to care for yourself, it sends a message to the universe to take care of you.
Tip #5 A Boudoir Shoot
A boudoir shoot is a great kickstart and accelerator to receiving and accepting. Believe it or not, boudoir is an act of radical self care. It requires you take time out of life to do something just for you. (It might end up a gift for someone else but ultimately, the Three Boudoir experience is for you.) Boudoir also requires courage and we know that. From the minute you walk through our door, we let you know that you are a brave and incredible woman, and that's before we get to see you through the camera lens (where the real “oh la la” starts happening and you start surprising yourself!)
When you walk out of your boudoir shoot, you will feel so incredible, your head will be held high, your radiance will shine so brightly that turning down a compliment will be impossible.
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