I am noticing more and more than we women are great at giving but lousy at receiving. We see this often at our shoots. We are always in awe of our amazing ladies. From the bravery needed to conquer a boudoir shoot to the beautiful, innately feminine features we all possess (yes, you too. Hear that. Accept it. You are innately beautiful.) We immediately give our ladies a huge pat on the back for showing up and often it is shrugged off or pushed aside. It's ok, we don't take it personally. We just wish that our ladies did. Take it personal! We mean it. You're amazing!
I've been thinking a lot about the kinks in our receiving muscle. As a result, I am writing these tips to help us overcome the blockage of receiving compliments. Tips to not only help us receive them but to energetically accept them. It might feel silly or strange or even selfish at first to begin practicing these. We get it. We suggest framing compliments up as love, light and joy trying to come into your life, when thought about in those terms, it feels even sillier to reject them.
Tip #1: Next time someone pays you a compliment, simply say “thank you” in reply.
Feeling extra ready to make a mental shift? Say “Thank you, it's totally true!” (Then mentally high five yourself!) We know that in the beginning accepting compliments for yourself might be difficult. To start flexing that receiving muscle, it might help you to frame it up differently. We are such givers, putting others first, it might come more naturally to think about the person paying you the compliment. Tell yourself they really mean it and they really want you to hear it. Don't insult them but refuting it or batting it away. They think you deserve it, and you 100% do, say “Thank you!”
Tip #2 Toot your horn!
Even if just quietly to yourself, as a fist bump at your reflection in the bathroom mirror, an entry into your journal, take a minute to give yourself some praise! Got that work project done on time? balanced your checkbook? Send the kids off to school with more than a go-yurt? Do your shoes and/or socks match today? Not today but they did yesterday? Hooray! You are totally winning. Time to brag.
Tip #3 Pay it forward
We here at Three Boudoir believe wholeheartedly in payin' it forward. We've got a channel in our slack group (our company's instant messaging application) just for complimenting each other and sharing rave reviews from the ladies that shoot with us. Paying it forward doesn't always mean paying for the coffee of the person behind you in line at Starbucks, or other like minded activities. It is the smaller things you can do every day that affect others. Think your co-workers shoes are rad? Tell 'em. Eat an amazing sandwich from the local deli? Leave 'em a yelp review! We know we are talking about receiving here and this tip pertains to giving, but by making space for love and joy to come from you, you make it easier to recognize and receive when it's coming at you.
Tip #4 Self-Care
Manicures, pedicures, massages, facials, a new *ahem* toy, a visit to the salon for a blow out, a good brunch or hangout with a close friend, etc. Self care! When you take the time to care for yourself it sends a message to the universe to take care of you.
Tip #5 A Boudoir Shoot
I was thinking about how a boudoir shoot is a great kickstart & accelerator to accepting and receiving. Believe it or not, boudoir is an act of radical self care. It requires you take time out of life to do something just for you (it might end up a gift for someone else but ultimately, the Three Boudoir experience is for you.) Boudoir also requires courage and we know that. From the minute you walk through our door we let you know that you are a brave and incredible woman, and that's before we get to see you through the camera lens (where the real “oh la la” starts happening and you start surprising yourself!)
When you walk out of your boudoir shoot, your head will be held high, your light will be shining so bright, turning down a compliment will be nearly impossible.
Don't Miss it!
